And Why I Take Them, Personal
I fucked up. It’s the saying I use whenever I’ve dropped the ball on something that I know should’ve handled better. I made a decision without thinking, consulting my team, checking with our lawyer, or analyzing a situation properly and made a bone head play. It happens, but what I do afterward usually determines if that loss was a lesson. I’ve had many losses in this business. Some embarrassing, some that have cost my company money, and some that have left me completely infuriated at myself. I never blame the other person even if they’re the ones at fault. I should’ve asked more questions, taken my time, or trusted my gut. And nine times out of ten, my gut is always right.
Once I’ve gotten a moment to sit down and reflect which usually comes in the form of a cold shower or a couple of glasses of cognac (when I did drink I preferred neat). I’ll go through the whole situation step by step to see where I made a stupid call. Did I read the email correctly? Did I not explain myself to the person I hired? Did I not double check to make sure all the stems were bounced? Have I put in the work to even take on this artist’s project? I’ll assess and assess until the answer becomes painstaking clear what I did wrong. “Damn, I should’ve known better.” It’s never the big mistakes like misspelling an artist’s name or being late to the first meeting. It’s always the little things that go unnoticed like not checking to see if a text went through, making sure the files were uploaded to dropbox properly, or being one word off when sending a contract over. Once I find out what it is I start working on a checklist/system that will prevent that mistake from ever happening again. It’s a pain, but I did say I wanted to be the best. If I’m ever going to make good on that promise then I’ll have to learn to deal with it.
I’ve made mistakes and I’m going to make more. It’s part of the game I signed up for. Every time I make one I now have to rectify it by being 10 times better and more efficient. No one puts that pressure on me, that’s a me thing. If you were to ask me what motivates me the most and forced me not to be PC but to be raw and honest. The truth is, it’s the losses. I remember every single one of them. I remember where I was, what I was wearing, what I ate that day, and those exact emotions. I still remember the first and last names of the two girls that laughed at me at a college event where I was performing. If I were to run into them today I’d greet them with a genuine smile, but deep down inside I want my success to hit them. Not to hurt them, but to show them that the effort I gave on that stage was to show how focused I was on accomplishing my goal of having a music career. The willingness to even go out there and perform a record. I learned to have thick skin that night and it’s been with me ever since.
In fact, the mistakes I remember the most no one else does. My business partner Rivers always has to remind me to let it go, but I can’t. This is what I’ve been passionate about for a long time and the little things matter. In three days or maybe even a month, no one will remember. If they do, they won’t be affected by it like I am. I’ve had someone pull me to the side before and tell me that they even forgot about what I did/didn’t do until I reminded them about it. For me, losses, mistakes, and lessons are personal. I personally promise to get better from them and work harder until I feel better.
Personal, it’s always personal.